Burgundy
by ComicKid99
Summary: The spark will never go out. R.I.P. Lincoln Campbell.


_"Say not in grief: 'he is no more' but live in thankfulness that he was."_

…

8640 minutes. 144 hours. 6 days.

Six days without him and yet to Daisy, he'd been gone much longer than that. For months she'd woken up in cold sweats over that vision; the necklace, the jacket and the explosion. For months she'd been having nightmares about his last moments, she just didn't know it was his final breath she was witnessing. She knew exactly what the last thing he ever saw was. She honestly didn't know if that brought her comfort or not. She didn't know if he was in pain. She didn't know if he was scared. There was a lot she didn't know.

She only knew two things. First: he didn't think he was a hero, but he was. Second: she'll never get to tell him she loved him too. She could only hope with all she had that he knew.

There was a light tapping on the door. Daisy said nothing aloud (she hadn't for days) but the door still slid open and she was greeted with a gentle smile from Jemma Simmons. She held a tray in her hands with a cup of tea and a few biscuits on a plate, placing it down on the desk in Daisy's room before sitting next to her on the bed.

Silence.

"They're Fitz's favourites." Jemma said eventually. Daisy looked at her in confusion.

"The biscuits." Jemma clarified.

"Oh." Daisy muttered with a whisper.

"I took them from the secret stash he keeps in his room; I won't tell him if you don't." Jemma smiled.

"It's not very secret if you know about it." Daisy said.

"…No, I suppose not. Sorry."

Silence again.

"…I had so much to say to him. The words wouldn't come out." Daisy admitted tearfully. Jemma delicately held her hand comfortingly.

"He knew, Daisy. Everything you would have said, he knew. If not, he wouldn't have…"

Jemma couldn't finish the sentence.

"Have they packed up his things yet?" Daisy asked, wiping her eyes.

"I don't think so."

"Good, I want to look for something."

"What?" Jemma asked.

"…When, um…when we first met at Afterlife…well, I recognised he was handsome and all but I was a bit distracted. I had these…these weird needle things all stuck in my body and that Gordon guy was leaning over me. The thing that struck me the most was his shirt. It was plain, you know, but it was nice. It was like a warm burgundy, you know? It suited him. He bought one just like it after he came here; I want to see if he still has it." Daisy explained fondly. Jemma smiled as she listened to the story.

"…When Fitz and I were in the pod at the bottom of the ocean, we talked about dying. We were convinced we were dead scientists walking – well, sitting – but as we were talking I stopped feeling sad and worried. Life isn't beautiful because it lasts forever, it's beautiful for the exact opposite; it's finite and precious, a gift we can't help but be given. Sometimes you just need to take comfort in the fact that you lived at all." Jemma said softly.

"…W-why did he have to go, Jemma?"

Daisy's tears returned in full force as she sobbed into Jemma's shoulder. Her friend held her close and cried with her.

…

"I was too hard on him. He was just a kid." May said, a drink in hand as she and Coulson stood in his office wishing their grief away.

"I misjudged him too." Coulson sighed.

"You're the Director; you need to be level-headed about things."

"Fury recruited me because I had heart; that's what made me a good agent. I'm losing that. Every breath, every step, every way in which we live our lives from now on is thanks to him. I won't forget that. I often judged him for action irrationally because of Daisy yet I've done the same thing many times. He did the heroic thing in the end; I realise just how much I respect him just when it's too late to tell him." Coulson said, his head in his hands as he paced slowly around the room.

"There's no lesson to learn from this. No happy ending, no taking it back, nothing. He's just gone." He added.

"He saved the world. Whatever we do next, we honour him like we honour every agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. who falls. We move forward but we never forget." May said.

"We all need to be there for Daisy. This'll understandably take a lot of time for her." Coulson said and May nodded.

"…You know what my mother used to tell me? 'Every war has casualties, Melinda. You have to accept it and move on'. She's wrong. You don't accept it; you fight back in the name of those we have lost. Loss gives you motivation." May recalled.

Coulson poured himself a drink and refilled May's glass, tapping his glass against hers.

"To Lincoln."

"Lincoln. God be with you."

…

Jemma walked into the lab to see Fitz observing as Mack screwed a small piece of metal into the wall.

"What's that?" She asked as she approached them.

"I finished the plaque earlier." Mack explained, backing away from the wall as Jemma read the inscription that had been written into the shiny rectangular sign.

 **LINCOLN CAMPBELL**

 **Agent, hero, friend.**

"That's lovely, Mack." Jemma nodded, her eyes filling up with tears again. Fitz could tell she'd been crying so pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head.

"Did Daisy like the tea?" Fitz asked.

"Yes, she very much appreciated it."

"Maybe we should've given her some food as well. I've got some biscuits in my room; she might like some of them." Fitz commented. Jemma smiled slightly as she took Fitz's hand.

"Maybe later. She needs some space right now. And time." Jemma said softly.

"We all do. At least Bobbi and Hunter are out there somewhere living their lives. This is…a new level of crap. I can't say I knew him all that well, but I'll thank him every morning I wake up and every night I go to sleep." Mack said.

"He didn't deserve it. It wasn't ceremonial or spectacular. It's just unfair." Fitz sighed.

"Saving the woman he loved? Sounds pretty spectacular if you ask me." Jemma smiled.

"…When you put it like that, I guess you're right. Can't argue with his intentions." Fitz said, moving a stray hair of Jemma's behind her ear as she smiled at him. Mack patted Fitz on the back supportively.

"I just hope he's happy, wherever he is. I'm gonna go check on Elena." Mack said, walking out after nodding respectfully at Lincoln's plaque one final time.

Jemma rested her head on Fitz's shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her.

"He felt like he didn't fit in. I only wish he knew there was nowhere he belonged more."

…

 _Lincoln,_

 _I'm not sure why I'm writing this down. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with this after I've written it. I felt like there was so much I didn't get to tell you and I needed to get it out somehow._

 _I miss you. The smell of your shampoo. The way you'd short out the lights in Mack's room to freak him out and make me laugh. Your smile – I never told you how beautiful it always was, because you only smiled when it you were genuinely happy. Your laugh and how it was more of an effortless chuckle. The nights we spent up talking because we couldn't sleep so would gossip about Inhuman stuff and when Fitz and Simmons would finally get their acts together._

 _Remember that video you recorded on my phone when you stole it that time? I told you I deleted it but I didn't. It always put a smile on my face. I must have watched it a hundred times over the last week. Just to hear your voice. Just to feel close to you again. I'm glad I know I'll never forget the way you sound; I can just watch that silly video of you imitating me and pulling funny faces and I can always remember._

 _I'm sorry I never got to tell you everything I wanted to. You deserved the world but you were the one who saved it. It's not fair that you're gone when there are so many bad people out there living the days you should have had. The days we should have had. Together. And I'm so sorry that you saved me when I needed you the most and I didn't do the same for you. You showed me I wasn't a monster even when you still thought of yourself as one. You aren't. You never will be. You're a hero and I hope you know that._

 _We never really talked about the future, did we? We were always so busy with S.H.I.E.L.D. and Inhumans and everything. I wish we'd gotten the chance; that way I'd have a dream to cling on to. But you're just gone and the guilt I'm feeling will probably never go away._

 _You are the most human Inhuman I'll ever know. Thank you for being so special to me._

 _We've both led our lives up to this point with enemies, resentments, regrets and we'll never get to deal with most of them. You're not here anymore and I've lost that strength to fight back. My only purpose getting out of bed now is so I can mourn you with the respect you deserve. You deserve everything I can give. I wanted to give you my everything because you are my everything._

 _I miss you so much I feel like part of me died with you all the way up in space. You know when people ask you 'if you had one wish, what would you wish for?' and people would say money or a car or a house or cheat and say The American Dream to get all of it? I'd ask for ten more seconds for you to hold me. So I could smell your shampoo again. So I could memorise how it felt having your arms wrapped around me in that burgundy shirt of yours I love so much._

 _I'm so close to being swallowed by this grief, but I know you'd kill me if I let it. I know you'd want me to have a fantastic life and move on and be happy and I promise I'll try my best, but I need to spend a lot more time missing you first, okay? In the grand scheme of things I haven't known you long, but that doesn't matter – the impact you've had on my life is everlasting and unmatchable. I love that you brought out the real me. I went from Skye to Daisy Johnson because of you, and I will always love you for that._

 _I will always love you for being you. I love you. I really hope you knew that._

 _I won't say goodbye just yet because I can't bring myself to. I'm just gonna say 'see you again' because I hope, somehow, I will. Whether it's after my time on Earth is over or if I'm watching you be a goof in that video on my phone for the millionth time. Maybe we were meant to say goodbye, but that doesn't mean we'll never say hello again, does it?_

 _I love you, Lincoln Campbell. I promise to always love you, and to always remember the time we had, and to find new ways to remind myself of you. The thought of seeing you again someday, somehow, warms my heart. I've thought of nothing but you since the day we parted, and that will never stop._

 _Be well and be happy, Lincoln. See you again._

 _Yours always,_

 _Daisy_

As she finished the letter, Daisy wiped the last of her tears, folded up the paper and put it in her desk drawer. Coulson walked in shortly afterwards carrying a cardboard box.

"Hey."

"Hi."

Placing the box on Daisy's bed, Coulson walked over to her and hugged her.

"You okay?"

"I don't think I'll ever be okay again." Daisy choked.

"I'll never get to tell him, but he was a good man. I left a few of his things there; you might want to keep a few of them, that's all." Coulson said.

"Thank you." Daisy whispered, wiping her tears as Coulson walked out with a solemn smile.

She slowly moved over to the box and smiled at the selection of items inside. A few CDs, a laptop, a grey hoodie…

She sobbed aloud at the sight of a burgundy shirt at the bottom of the pile.

She slowly reached for it and sobbed more as even the feel reminded her of him. She held it close and his scent filled her with hope for the first time in days. Putting the loosely fitting shirt on, Daisy slowly fell back onto her bed as more tears flowed; she never thought she'd feel so close to him ever again. After she controlled her tears, she realised that this was what it felt like when his arms were around her. She smiled and closed her eyes.

Drifting off to sleep, Daisy dreamed of Lincoln Campbell, and in many ways he was right there with her. Always.

…

 _"Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."_

 _\- Oscar Wilde_


End file.
